This finds us on a Saturday morning, just having finished the 4th of July celebrations-the house is quiet yet so I thought it may be a good time to update. So much has transpired since I’ve last updated that I figured if this post gets long, you certainly can click on that little red “x”.
Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Track & Field, the Festival, Bible School, Graduation, that pool party that Mel was waiting for, gardening, crabbing, that western saddle, the Honda, friends & family just “around”, summer vacation–so much that makes a family what it is–sometimes, just being the observer, mostly, just being a “part”. Seems like there is such deep emotion and sometimes pain, as I realize that only in my mind can I go back to re-live those final celebrations that I never knew would be Mel’s last. I keep reminding myself to live my life, remembering that I cannot go back to yesterday or know what lies ahead in the future– to take the time to make good memories, and not to be remembered as a Mom who was too busy to read that book, or ” come see, Mom”, or play one more game of “go fish”–
Our family continues to be blessed again by those faithful people that continue to stand along side of us in ways that mean so much. We recently went to Pippin Funeral Home for a funeral service, and in speaking with Mr. Pippin, found out that he is designing Melanie’s gravestone. His mannerisms and care for us have been so outstanding. We will no doubt post some pics once that is completed. While we were at that graveside service, right beside where we were standing, we looked down at another gravesite and Marty says, “Look, that’s ‘Beads of Courage’”–sure enough, upon closer inspection it really was an A I duPont patient that had passed away of cancer.
Marty also just completed one step toward screening that “they” have advised us to do–they would like each of us to have a colonoscopy done sometime very soon. I have not been thrilled for any of us to be screened, since I’m of the thinking that it doesn’t sound like a whole lot can be done by way of “cure” anyway. They would’ve liked us to go to a large teaching hospital for some of this testing, but don’t think that insurance will allow it to go out of state–I have also really struggled with feeling like a “guinea pig” for research–I suppose if each human alive would be given a whole body scan, something could be found to cause concern–I’m a “stick your head in the sand” kind of person when it comes to wanting to know certain things–Marty likes to know and take action–I guess that’s usually why God puts opposites together!
Lauren took her SAT test and will possibly pursue something in the medical field without lots of college years–she’ll be a senior this fall–also is driving, babysitting and cleaning this summer. Joelle is sooo excited–someone out of the kindness of their heart, pretty much paid her ticket to fly to Spain to visit her friend there, for 4 weeks– ( We don’t know who you are, but Joelle is very thankful to you!!) She also has been working very hard and saving for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The girls both leave for a week of volleyball camp in PA in a couple of weeks. Cameron is busy working on painting approx. 75 fence posts. His incentive is picking something out of Smoky Mtn. Knife Works–an awesome store in Gatlinburg, TN. He also keeps most of the mowing and trimming caught up here and at the neighbor’s house as well. The horse stall is his job also. Jana loves having everyone just around for the summer–she is wanting to take Mel’s job at the store. Her rabbit, ducks, and “trash” jobs keep her busy. Her and Cameron recently took Mel’s Webkinz and are playing with them again. As a family(on the Miller side) we plan to visit Gatlinburg TN for a week–there are 20 of us,( yes Conrad, we really don’t mind if she goes!). Two things on the back burner for our family is one, hoping to be able to sing together again. This is probably the most difficult for me personally. Not only because one is missing, but because Mel loved to sing. Singing together in church somehow is the hardest part of the service. I heard Lauren playing the piano the other day, and of course my mind traveled back to when the piano was out in the living room and would often be busy with someone playing. Does God give a song back when it has been taken away? Number two, several people have suggested that we write a book. This looks like a huge undertaking so it’s still in the “praying” stage.
On a sad note, my single aunt is dying of cancer. Some days I can sit with her and be fine, other days I find it extremely difficult to watch this dying process. I think of her seeing Mel and somehow wish that I could see her first. Yet I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that one day my “faith will become sight”, and all these things I read about down here really will happen. I know I’ve said this before, but I need to remind myself also–when I come to the end of my life, I will not wish I had earned more money or had more things–I will only hope that those things I’ve done will somehow point others to the Saviour.
With love, Lori for the Miller’s
