As I sit here, the house is quiet—too quiet. Marty & Cameron are gone to cut wood for friends, Jana is with her grandparents at a softball game, Lauren is packing for her senior grad trip to TN, and Joey dragging from an early morning/late night…..So much has happened in the past month, I’ll try to quickly recap it all. I had the privilege to accompany 32 students on a 19 hour bus ride to MO. for Int’l Student Convention. This included Lauren & Joey….we had a really good time, and the students did an incredible job of giving their very best. If you follow the link on the side for the girls song on youtube for “There You Are”, you can also view some of the performances. We got home on Friday, May 29th….only to have Lauren graduate on Sunday, the 31st from 12 years of school! So hard to believe how fast time flies by….she has also been accepted for an 11 month LPN program here in DE. and is to start this fall.
I am really enjoying having the children around for the summer…seems like I miss so much of their “growing up” while they are in school. Cameron is able to keep the grass trimmed and cut. Joey and Lauren are both babysitting and really enjoying it! Speaking of growing up, Lauren has also started dating a guy from PA. He is a lot of fun to have around! Maybe I can get someone to put a picture on here sometime. I am not good with things like that…maybe we can eventually put our family pic on here from Lauren’s grad as well.
It seems my mind often travels to those things that Mel would have loved to be part of…whenever there is a change, it seems that I need to let her know what is new or how things have changed. Recently, we had a speaker from out of town at church on Sunday morning…he was speaking of an account in the Bible that from a human perspective seemed so unfair. One quote that was riveted in my mind “God may be silent, but He is not absent.” Sometimes I find myself trying to explain to God once again, how we would love to have Melanie back, trying to help Him to see from a Mom’s point of view….how nice it would feel to sit together as a family on a Sunday morning…. that it still hurts to think of how He could have stepped down and made our lives much different….but He chose not to. I read many “Caring Bridge” sites of children who are fighting in the “cancer-world” and sit here in tears as I pray that God would spare them the pain of a “lost battle”~
I still believe in my heart that God can be trusted, even though there are no answers for my many questions…..one Sunday evening ….probably the only Sunday evening service that Melanie attended after she was diagnosed… Lauren, Joey and I sang the following song…I have found that beyond the tears, questions, and confusion….God is my Rock~the only One that will stand the test of time! The best is yet to come~ Lori
I DO BELIEVE
“Some say faith
is just believing
others say its self decieving
inventing childish dreams
to get us through
deep inside me
theres a yearning
for true wisdom
not just learning
I’d trade all my clever questions
for one answer that is true~
I do believe
You are the one
the home
I’ve longed to find
my only hope
God’s only Son
I do believe
I touch I see
that all along
You’ve longed to be
my Lord
my God~
Lord you know, I need some answers
questions eat at me like cancer
make me once again, a simple child
help me take the risk of losing
lose it all to find in choosing
to believe You are the answer
earth and heaven reconciled~
I do believe
You are the one
the home I’ve longed to find
my only hope
God’s only Son
I do believe
I touch I see
that all along
You’ve longed to be
I do believe
You are the one
the home I’ve longed to find
my only hope
God’s only Son
I do believe
I touch,I see
that all along You’ve longed to be
my Lord
my GOD
my Lord
my GOD.”
