I sit here with tears streaming down my cheeks….another young life snatched away at 10 years old…another victim of that horrid disease called cancer. I had been following the story of a sweet young girl who had such a contagious smile…at the same hospital where Mel had been. I found myself pleading with God on her behalf to please not let her life end in the same way Melanie’s had ended. There is something that silently pulls one into the story of another….a strange pulling, but one that compels you to hope that maybe this will be the child that will survive another case of childhood cancer. I could not help but sit here and cry over this young girl’s short-lived life….why does another family have to go through the heartbreak of losing their child?
We enjoyed some things this week that brought back many bittersweet memories once again…. a huge pot of garden-fresh lima beans, putting chicken necks on the trot line for another day of crabbing, a campfire with our small group from church…I could go on rambling.
There are some things in life that can be purposefully avoided….somehow death is not on that list. I remember very vividly thinking that I would never be able to survive the awful pain of losing a child. A week ago I was sorting through some pictures and found myself going from file to file…aimlessly wasting hours as I went from year to year…..wondering how “normal” even felt….why did I not savor those long gone days of what life once was?
For now, I choose to remind myself of the good times…..packing school lunches, homework, piano lessons, brushing out tangled hair, loud protests from Jana being teased by her brother….these really are the good times….I recall wishing from the hospital room, that I could do those things for my family that others were doing for me.
My tears have dried…May God help me to see through the blinding rain, and yes, even the storm clouds….when I am overcome with pain and loneliness of past memories…there is waiting for me…..to all those who overcome…an eternity…where we will never again know the pain of separation….NEVER! Love, Lori
