Does Life Go On?

Today is Saturday-April 12th-the day before the school Convention students will be sharing presentations at our Church–before a week of competition and rallies–I have not spent much time by myself at home because I’m beginning to realize how very easy it would be for me to withdraw and live in my own little world of tears and adjustments–I have spent time with some of the students in prep for music specifically-then when I slow down and think beyond the musical scores and harmonies–I hear a message of Heaven and hope of knowing we will one day really hear that trumpet sound and Melanie will be able to welcome me “Home”-it’s hard to think that she probably doesn’t “need” me anymore, but wants me to come where she is–

The children are dealing with things in an individual way–Jana recently told someone that, “Melanie isn’t here right now”-we continue to be blessed with cards of encouragement, e-mails, Jana & Cameron have certainly been well taken care of in the “things” department, and Joelle & Lauren have immensely enjoyed having a vehicle to transport them and their siblings to school or Wal-Mart–a formal thank-you to those of you who made that 2000 Honda Accord possible–we were very humbled, yet grateful to you all who gave so generously–we have no way of knowing who you are, so please accept our “thanks”! Mel would be so pleased with the car-often on the way home from a trip to the hospital, we would look at cars-she wanted something just like what we got–

There continue to be many reminders of Mel that keep us talking about things we remember–Cameron misses her wrestling with him-I had forgotten that–Jana misses her always playing with her and sharing their room–we have begun the painful process of packing things from her room–I had started a while ago, but soon quit because I found it too difficult–Lauren graciously packed everything and brought it down to our room where I can slowly sort through things–Jana will be moving into the room with Joey then Lauren has the room that was Mel & Jana’s–Jana told me she is “not going back to that room”–we take things slowly and pray for much wisdom to know when to push her or not–she was having a hard time going back to school–she wanted to be with me all the time, which is another reason I have been at the school a lot–she seems to have adjusted to some time without me as long as she knows what to expect–how do you tell a 6 year old that life is not predictable ?

We had thought we would try to update more often and shorter, but I see this is not very short–we continue to be amazed by the grace God continues to give–we are among the very blessed to have such a strong support system of people that continue to remember Mel & this new journey we travel–tonight when you go to sleep, don’t forget that you are not promised tomorrow–cherish the small things–you never know when they may become memories of a distant past–We love you–Lori for the Miller’s

Miller Family Update

Sorry we haven’t updated in a while. We are doing okay but really missing Mel. Her fingerprints are all over our home and on our hearts. We are trying to get back to a routine, with spring here, there is not a lack of things to do. We are overwhelmed at the loving support we have felt and are continuing to feel. The children are doing well and are into school full swing as this is a very busy time for them with academics and extracurricular activities. Some diversion is helpful at times. Please be patient with us as we try to get more pix on here of the viewing and funeral, hopefully soon. Our love goes out to all of you! Marty, for the family P.S. HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY CAMERON!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went out to Shuckers for his birthday meal. He ordered shrimp while I had flounder.

A Special Request!

This is Rob doing another guest post on this blog.

I wasn’t sure how to do this in an appropriate way. Marty and Lori had nothing to do with this request and won’t really know about it until they check this blog again! I was asked to announce this by some dear church friends. A link is also provided on the right side margin of this blog for future access titled “Special Request”.

Click here >  Special Request  < to check it out.

Many thanks,   Rob

Address For Sending Condolences

Marty & Lori Miller
236 Central Church Rd.
Dover, DE 19904

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines Day to our family and friends. Love is a strange but
wonderful thing ; in that, it generates many definitions depending on
who you ask. If you ask me, the word that comes to mind is commitment.
When things get tough, love stays the course when selfishness packs up
and leaves. It reminds me of the wonderful wife and mother in our home
that knows how to love and care for our family. She is a physical
demonstration of staying the course in spite of obstacles that would
send lesser people packing. Our children have shown love in their
awesome flexibility with unforeseen circumstances that have fragmented
our family situation. You have demonstrated love in your prayers and
acts of kindness and support. Love is most certainly an action verb
and we have been a recipient. People often say, ” I’ve fallen in love”
as if they’ve fallen out of a chair. Love is an act of the will that
stays in spite of unpleasantness and it considers negative
circumstances an opportunity to serve. Sometime love involves pain, of
course you already knew that, and pain deepens love and fully
expresses it’s elements. We hope to come home today. Mel is tired but
ready to be home. Hopefully we can be home for a more extended stay.
Thanks for everything.
Marty

Tribute to a wonderful wife and mother.

As I sit down to write tonight I am overwhelmed at the blessing of
having a loving, committed wife of 19 years this month. She is a great
mother to our 5 children, only eternity will show the incredible
impact she has had and will have on their lives. Since we have been
wading through the deep waters of Melanie’s illness, she has been
tireless in her devotion to her family and to her Savior. She would
never think of buying something just for herself. I’ve heard her say
many times to the children, “are you thinking of others?” when there
is a limited amount of a certain food that everyone likes. Some more
things I appreciate about her are….. she doesn’t squander her
time (though she should take more time to relax), although she doesn’t
really enjoy it, she is a great cook, she tries to be understanding
when we don’t see things exactly alike, she supports me in judgment
calls related to our children that she may not totally agree with, she
doesn’t give up on me when I blow it, she doesn’t get wrapped up in
the slavery of immodest clothing and fashion, and she is trustworthy
and loyal to her family. She is truly a Proverbs 31 woman. Lori you
are more than I deserve, may you hear, feel, and sense the love that I
have for you.

Love, Marty

This is Rob interjecting a picture into this great tribute for Lori! The pic below was taken a few years ago while we were at a cabin.
From left to right: Melanie, Marty, Lauren, Jana, Lori, Cameron, Joelle

Sunday Evening 7-8-07

Once again we find ourselves waiting for time to pass and more tests
to be done–we will leave duPont Monday morning about 5:30 am by
ambulance to go to Christiana hospital for a PET scan–they will be
scanning Mel’s entire body to see where any cancer cells may be
lurking. Sometimes we feel prepared to hear the worst case scenario,
then other times find ourselves looking to hear some good news that
might be coming–sometimes feeling like we’re on an emotional
roller coaster that will not stop. Melanie is allowed to eat but feels
a lot of burning when her stomach begins to work. She is on a total
nutrition liquid via her central line–they plan to stop that at 1:00
am so it won’t interfere with the PET scan. Yesterday the oncologist
said they want to look at her kidneys more closely if the bone marrow
test is OK–they wonder about lymphoma in both kidneys–She loves her
gifts,cards, visitors, etc. and continues to have such a positive
spirit and really does not express any fear or questions. We try to
keep her posted on what the tests are for and what they are looking
for–the faith of a child is again so refreshing to watch–sometimes
we wonder if we are the ones learning life lessons. Thanks again to
each of you who continue to persistently bring us to the Throne of
Grace–we can only keep asking in faith for God to hold us, even when
we cannot see from one day to the next.
Marty is still here with us at the hospital–it is such a blessing
to not be by ourselves. Melanie has always thought the world of her
daddy, and wants him close by. When he was following the ambulance the
other day, she looked out the back and saw him and pointed him out and
said to the ambulance crew, “That’s my Daddy!” It makes it pretty
tough to want to hold onto our children–they are such wonderful
gifts, that make us want to claim them for our very own. It has helped
us realize how very fragile and precious the gift of life is. Well, we
have an early morning coming–keep us in your prayers-We love you
all!!

Lori for the Miller’s

A short disclaimer here:

We apologize for those of you that have visited and have not seen your picture on here. It certainly doesn’t make you any less important to us! Sometimes we have forgotten to take pics that we meant to take.

The blessing of more visitor support…

Freeman, Becky, Jeff, and Ryan..

Henry, Tammy, and family..

Mattie, Bertha, Freda, and Clara..

Derrick, Katrina, Jared, and Travis..

Bill, Mae, and Rita..

Wes, Lita and fam/ Michelle and Mike..

Orden and Anna Dora..

Katelyn, Sadie, Jalissa, Wendy, and Mia..

Bobbie and Willis..

Carole, Terri, and Rowdy..

Truman, Nelson, and Monica..

Jesse and Gladys..

Thursday Afternoon

We took a short trip via ambulance to meet with the radiologist to
discuss treatment options, risks, and time frame. Because of the two
areas (brain & colon) they need to be treated somewhat differently.
The colon tumor will be dealt with in a more general way with chemo,
the brain with radiation- and/or chemo- in a more specific targeted
way. They will try to radiate slightly beyond the tumor location to
try and eliminate possible active cancer cells. We are told that the
preliminary observation of the brain tumor was thought to be an
aggressive type. The pathology  report still is not back as of this
writing. The turcot syndrome complicates matters because it affects
the way cells repair. And the Dr. is not totally sure how she is going
to respond to treatments. They are gathering as much information as
possible on patients that have been treated with turcot to map out a
plan that will best help Melanie. The Drs don’t want to delay
treatment very long as the cancer might be more aggressive than some.
The Dr. told us that it is very rare to have these two types of tumors
to deal with at the same time. Melanie is so hungry. As a dad my heart
just bleeds for her. We will try our best to surrender her to the
Great Physician, may we not stand in the way of a loving Heavenly
Father who has a plan and a purpose for this time. The reality is we
don’t know the plan but we know He is walking beside us, and many of
you have been His hands and His embrace. We are still trusting,
hoping, and praying that His will would be done.
Love, Marty and Lori

Friday Eve Update. 6/22/07

Friday eve. 8:00 .Just a quick update. Another MRI was taken this
morning to determine if all of the visible tumor was extracted. The
neurosurgeon came in after reading the images and reported favorable
news. He felt confident about the success of the operation. This does
not necessarily mean that there are no cancer cells elsewhere. The
biopsy will determine what type of tumor, thus indicating how
aggressive the treatment or if any further treatment will be
necessary. Tumors are graded from 1-4. A one being least aggressive,
four being the most aggressive. By aggressive I mean the ability of
the tumor to multiply cells. Tumors with a grade of 1 typically are
slow growing and have well defined borders and ,depending where they
are located in the brain, can be removed by surgery alone. A class 4
or “high grade” tumor doesn’t have well defined borders and is fast
growing. So we will have to wait and see. Melanie is doing very well
which prompted the Doctor to give her the ok to be moved to a
different floor. Her new room no. is 3212 floor 3C. She may even be
able to go home next week mon. or tues.? Thanks again for praying and
encouraging. Love, Marty & Lori

Melanie’s Journey.

We have used the occasion of Melanie’s illness to begin this blog. We hope this will help keep our friends and extended family updated on Mel’s journey. We continue to covet your prayers.

Here is a summary of Melanie’s illness:

Thursday afternoon. (June 21)

Around June 6, our 13 year old daughter Melanie started with frequent headaches. She has had some not so bad days and then some not so good days. She has lost some blood, vomiting, diarrhea, and again headaches, very pale, weak, and just feeling like her energy has been sapped. Tylenol helped at first but soon failed to provide any relief. After many and various tests, a CT scan revealed what appeared to be a mass on the left frontal portion of the brain. The size of the mass is about 3 cm.
Surgery was scheduled for today and by mid afternoon had been completed. Mel came through the surgery very well. The doctor felt optimistic that he was able to remove all of the tumor.

Here is a pic or Melanie taken right before surgery…

Thursday Eve…

At this writing Lori is trying to rest. Not a lot of sleep was
acquired since the beginning of the week. I was able to get some rest
last night. Melanie is resting comfortably with various and sundry
wires and tubes tethering her to the bed with a sewn surgical incision
across the top of her forehead just back from her hairline. She will
be able to hide most of the scar with her hair. She was a bit
disappointed when she discovered that they were not going to shave all
of her hair off…???. go figure. The first words out of her mouth
after she woke up from surgery were ” I told you I would be
alright”. Can you say morphine??? You should see the outpouring of
love on the walls of this place! The e-cards have sufficiently covered
one big window in her room. You probably don’t fully realize what a
blessing you are to us during this time of uncertainty. We really
appreciate all of you for caring about our situation. An MRI is
scheduled for tomorrow morn. to be sure that as much of the tumor was
removed as possible. They do it so soon in case there needs to be
another surgery before she heals. We will have to wait to find out
what type of tumor it is to determine if she will need ongoing
treatment i.e. radiation or chemo or no treatment. We are confident in
the ability of our Lord to heal her completely, but we are trying to
resolve ourselves to trust Him whatever the outcome. God is not
surprised by our bumps in the road. He knows and cares and builds into
our lives strengths that only adversity can accomplish. So continue to
pray for endurance and hope. Love Marty